I was pasing by streets,
just heard very famliar beats,
A familiar smel came wth breeze,
All this made me glue,
coz it reminded me about
wat i did to u..........
though i hate u........
i wont come back!
i have my live
i lov tat...
stil i hav some dues...
i closed my eyes..and angel,came in my mind..........
i got imdicatin of my god ,
m happy wth my golden pot..
i m happy wth my life.......
while, crosing those streets..
i felt music behind.........
now lov was in air
and i wish to be just blind.......
m ur child.. and ur dear one..
i wont scream at u god..for all unluck u have given
i have my angel,coz m ur dear one
so when i wil pass by those streets ,
i wont b sad..
its all done
u send me angel.....
to gmme strngth,to walk on those street
i wont b sad
its all done..
no regrt ,coz i have ur son!!!
1 comment:
First, I would recommend real words and capitalization.
Also, it seems that you're trying a bit too hard to rhyme. There is such a thing as free verse, and it feels that your poem is suffering from forced rhyme.
"watever i desire,/
had seen u perspire."
I'm not really sure what that even means. You obviously have some good ideas and imagery, but your knowledge of the English language and style need some work.
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