Monday, December 29, 2008

Its aLl DONE

I was pasing by streets,
just heard very famliar beats,
A familiar smel came wth breeze,
All this made me glue,
coz it reminded me about
wat i did to u..........
though i hate u........
i wont come back!
i have my live
i lov tat...
stil i hav some dues...
i closed my eyes..and angel,came in my mind..........
i got imdicatin of my god ,
m happy wth my golden pot..
i m happy wth my life.......

while, crosing those streets..
i felt music behind.........
now lov was in air
and i wish to be just blind.......

m ur child.. and ur dear one..
i wont scream at u god..for all unluck u have given
i have my angel,coz m ur dear one

so when i wil pass by those streets ,
i wont b sad..
its all done
u send me angel.....
to gmme strngth,to walk on those street
i wont b sad
its all done..
no regrt ,coz i have ur son!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

First, I would recommend real words and capitalization.

Also, it seems that you're trying a bit too hard to rhyme. There is such a thing as free verse, and it feels that your poem is suffering from forced rhyme.

"watever i desire,/
had seen u perspire."

I'm not really sure what that even means. You obviously have some good ideas and imagery, but your knowledge of the English language and style need some work.

Search with google ,if you can't find it here.. (google angel helps u)